We all see it on social media and even in everyday life...
If you're like me, many days your newsfeed on Facebook will look something like this (well if you've used that little "unfollow" or that "unfriend" button *gasp* to get rid of some of the crazies):
"Going on a cruise! Swimsuit ready too!"....."I just got a promotion and a new car!!!! #blessed"...."I'm graduating today! My whole family came to celebrate w/ me!"...."Oh. My. Goodness. This dinner my husband just made is so perfect and delicious! I'm so thankful we have such nutritious food to nourish our family. God is so good."...."I just finished decorating my kiddo's room. I handcrafted everything myself."....And then there's the selfies and vacation pictures and the perfect shots on the holidays...
You're not seeing reality. Only tiny glimpses into their lives. A few sentences of a thick novel. You don't see all of the pictures that didn't turn out right. Only the ones the user chose. The ones with the best angles or editing-zoomed in on a single moment.
Like I said though, it's not just social media or even what you see in movies. When you go to a doctor's office, what do you see on the walls? All of their degrees, credentials, and awards, right? You don't see that time they failed an exam or made a bad choice in a patient's care or cried on their break. When a clerk asks some in front of you at the store, "How are you today?", the answer is usually, "Fine, thanks." They don't tell the clerk about all of their troubles. If you look at military members in their formal uniforms, you'll see ribbons and medals and ranks they've earned. You can't see the scars that might be underneath the clothes or the family's personal battles. A speaker at a conference you're attending is so well dressed and seems so eloquent and knowledgeable. You don't see her trying on 12 dresses at the store or fussing over her hair and studying and preparing for weeks before stepping onto that stage.
The point is: "Don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel" (to quote the random inspiration I found on Pinterest). It's a good one to memorize and repeat to yourself. No one is perfect. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Focus of being the best version of yourself, not on competing w/ an impossible ideal. Try to find ways to serve others too. It can help give you a healthy perspective.
Now, am I promoting that we post every single deep dark secret on the Internet? No. Should we start answering store clerks like we would a therapist? No! Do you want your doctors to start hanging all of their failures on the walls or for people to stop putting an effort into their appearance? No thanks!
"That means you're being fake. There's nothing real about you."
That's not true either.
If someone asks me a question about a difficult experience, I answer them honestly. Sometimes I share my struggles with others- even online. When I see someone else going through a challenging time that is similar to one from my past, I will gladly step up to offer my story and encouragement.
You see, reality is more complex than newsfeeds or diplomas or uniforms or even that broken phone or the time you failed or lost someone you love. It's a great big mesh of positives and negatives and grey areas. If you start concentrating too hard on all of the bad, you won't have any energy left to see any good in the world - even if it's right in front of you. When you're down on your luck and keep scrolling through that newsfeed of highlights, try to remember it's not the whole story. Optimism is much healthier than pessimism. Still, everything in life needs a balance. Find the balance when you're looking at the world, and do what you can to make it better.
~LadyH
~LadyH
